COLUMN: Sarah Martin – ‘Happiest Girl In The World’

TODAY I stumbled across a few posts with women showing off their partners with the caption “happiest woman in the world because of him”.

This made me wonder whether it takes being with another person to feel utter bliss!

I have experienced the full on relationship (my longest was 18 years) and being single / celibate, which is where I currently am and I can say that both of these scenarios have their pluses and minuses.

If you are not in a good place then no one can make you happy, the relationships will always be short lived or never be enough.

To make someone the thing that makes you happy all the time is so unnecessary and puts a lot of responsibility on your partner’s shoulders, but we do it all the time because it’s the only way we think we can be truly happy.

It seems we were never really taught any other ways of having that fairy tale life alone, so how can we blame ourselves right?

When you put your whole happiness requirement on another person you lose sight of what they need and almost forget that they have their lives to live.

They will always put their true needs before yours and people at their core are selfish, it’s human nature.

The likelihood of them letting you down or not making you happy all the time will be something that frequently pops up.

You need to be aware that there will be days when they can’t make you happy because they are dealing with their own lives so taking it to heart or turning it into he/she doesn’t want me or love me is usually what happens next…then drama!

I am not saying it’s wrong to expect joy from your relationship but to expect it to be the only reason you feel complete or truly at your happiest is dangerous.

There are other ways of being the happiest girl in the world by yourself, instead of allowing it to be as a result of another human being.

If you are in a great relationship then try your best to make yourself as happy as you believe the other person makes you happy.

How amazing would it be to take the pressure off that person for being your source of happiness and just enjoying them while taking your relationship to deeper and joyful level.

Imaging how free and grounded you would feel. That’s personal freedom right there.  

If you are single, try not to see the time alone as a bad thing but instead a chance to date yourself, get to know who you are.

I used to be disillusioned in thinking that if I had that perfect love then I would be happy.

If only my King would come and save me like a princess is saved in fairy tale movies then I would be so happy.

I realise through time and experience that even if he turns up and if you are not in the right place internally, i.e loved yourself, knew how to take care of you on all levels then you will never recognise or appreciate him. He will never be enough.

I have also come to realise that I need my purpose more than I need my King right now.

Too often we think we need another person to feel fulfilled but we actually just need ourselves.

Sarah Martin
Reporter
Sarah Martin is an all round creative who in her words doesn't fit in any standard box! She is the founder and owner of female empowerment fashion brand SHE Republic. She is also a writter, blogger, vlogger, artist and TV host. For more information about her works visit www.isarahmartin.com.