COLUMN: Sarah Martin – ‘How to be sure about yourself’

I WAS scrolling through Instagram and saw a video of an Oreo kebab being dipped in some chocolate sauce and I remembered this one time maybe two years ago when I would have re-posted that video with the caption #Mood.

I then realised how far removed that was from who I am and how far I have come in my self discovery journey.

It made me feel grateful that I am far more self assured than I ever was and look forward to being more me!

It also made me think about how being self assured isn’t something that just happens like that or by will.

It takes time and trials and errors to discover who you really are, to find your true voice and to be completely your authentic self.

How therefore does someone go about being self assured?

People underestimate what it takes to develop one’s self!

They think it’s something you can bring about by will but I know through experience that you must allow all the time you need in order to get there.

It’s certainly different for everyone so looking at others journey is only going to mess with your process.

There isn’t an easy way to do this, however if you can try to stop following the masses and spend time discovering what you really like and dislike, you’d be taking an important and necessary step toward become one with who you truly are.

It’s so easy to follow the crowd and that’s not a bad thing because it’s all you know and what you have grown up learning.  

I mean if you don’t know that you have a swag that’s amazing, one that is perfectly designed for you then of course you are going to copy what you see around you!

So don’t beat yourself up at all, I’ve been there and so many have too!

After many years of crowd following you’ll find that your own natural evolution and development will seek more out of life and yourself.

You’ll start to become unsatisfied and want more, this is where you need to know what is happening and how to give yourself all you need in order to step into your better self effortlessly without unnecessary resistance.

There are many reasons why we don’t become instantly self assured from when we can make our own decisions in life.

Think about it for a minute, most of your life choices from birth to probably 18/20 was decided or influenced by your parents or family or caregivers.

By the time you are old enough to get on with it, most of us find ourselves making decisions based on our caregivers code for life.

Again, it’s okay because it is what we know!

If you are lucky, your life decisions will fall in line with who you are at an early age but if not, you get the joy of discovering who you are and finding your true essence!

Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes not so much but…..don’t be hard on yourself, just be as much you as you can, do things you truly love and that make your heart flutter with joy.

Keep adding to your list of things you love to do, you’ll find that your imagination really starts to kick in and as you start with things you love, it evolves or leads you to something you’ve never considered doing before.

Continuously feeding your mind with new information and experiences helps you to know what you don’t want so you can figure out what you do want.

Yes sometimes it takes knowing what you don’t want before you can figure out what you truly truly want.

As time passes you start to trust yourself and your instincts more, as a result you become self assured and all because you chose to spend time in getting to know who you are.

Being self assured is great and makes navigating through this thing called life a lot easier.

Definitely something worth working towards so what are you waiting for?!

Much love

Sarah Martin

Sarah Martin is an all round creative who in her words doesn't fit in any standard box! She is the founder and owner of female empowerment fashion brand SHE Republic. She is also a writter, blogger, vlogger, artist and TV host. For more information about her works visit

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