COLUMN: Sarah Martin – ‘How to enjoy loneliness’

DO you remember a time, when you were a kid and were able to play for hours on end by yourself without a care in the world?

I certainly do but it seems these days being alone is something we categorise as a bad thing and in turn do everything in our power to avoid.

As a result we can tend to settle for anyone or anything just so we are not lonely, which can create unnecessary difficulties in our lives.

When it comes to intimate relationships where we can tend to suffer most it is so easy to fall into a mediocre situation for fear of being alone.

Too many people are in bad and awful relationships because they can’t stand to be alone, but it doesn’t have to be like that.

LOVE’ by Alexandr Milov ; Your Inner Child

Despite what you may believe right now, you are actually capable of not feeling lonely if you trust yourself and allow yourself to be your all.

Now I am not saying sharing your life with another doesn’t have plusses but doing it with the wrong person can make you feel even lonelier than you would if you were on your own.

So learn not to need another just because you forgot how to play alone.

It’s something you are going to have to learn all over again.

You can start by doing the little things alone and gradually progress to big things like going to the cinema alone or taking yourself out to dinner alone etc.

It will be daunting at first but you will get used to it and before you know it you will have that one child of yours living comfortably in your own company.

This allows you to complete yourself and give you clarity when it comes to settling down with someone.

You will certainly not be afraid to settle and will be happy to walk away should a potential partner not meet your standards or expectations.

Don’t settle for just anyone just because you feel lonely.   

When in a relationship it is so easy to lose sight of who you are so try to maintain your own identity and make time for yourself to ensure you are able to do and enjoy activities alone.

As a parent myself I do my best to teach my children to enjoy alone time and learn not to need someone to be entertained just because they are bored.

Parents teach your kids how to be alone and happy, so that when they get older they don’t feel incomplete without another.

Other people then become a part of their day and not the basis for their whole happiness and lives.

I have been there and I say all this from my own personal experience.

I am now at a stage in my life where I look forward to my alone time because it means I get to play and so can you.

Much love

Sarah Martin

Sarah Martin
Sarah Martin is an all round creative who in her words doesn't fit in any standard box! She is the founder and owner of female empowerment fashion brand SHE Republic. She is also a writter, blogger, vlogger, artist and TV host. For more information about her works visit

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